Key mistakes in parenting
Being parents often means feeling guilty. You may yell at your child because of anxiety and worry and lose control. Or, conversely, blame yourself for being too lenient with your child. Whatever the reason, parents often feel guilty. Guilt or remorse does not necessarily have real grounds, but is always caused by parents’ responsibility for their children. There are simple rules to help you forgive the shortcomings of your child’s upbringing and move on.
Learn self-control
First of all, accept the fact that, because the child does not listen to you, you lose your temper. Therefore, sometimes you allow yourself to raise your voice or even rant at her. In addition, these conflicts destroy the relationship between parents and children. Psychologists believe that it is sometimes necessary to make days off. While the child has a lot of homework, she is nervous, and her parents are nervous too. After getting acquainted with our service WritingAPaper, you will never have such problems. All this pile of homework, essays, or even coursework can be done by it. Be sure that the service guarantees 100% uniqueness and accuracy. So parents need to learn self-control to become friends with their children.
The task of parents is to teach children to abide by the rules. But the child often tries to excite them, which leads to conflicts. Perhaps the child is being very defiant or you are too hot-tempered. Despite the reason for the conflict, sometimes a child may be frightened by the fact that you are setting the house rules. So try to understand what is causing the bad behavior. Perhaps you are giving the children too much freedom and they are allowing themselves too much freedom.
It is never too late to agree on the rules and the responsibility that the child will incur if these rules are broken. Try to make the rules flexible so that the child learns discipline and responsibility without too much stress.
A child behaving badly doesn’t make you a bad parent
When times are difficult, e.g. when a family member has died or divorce has occurred, parents tend to feel sorry for their children. When a child is going through a difficult time, he or she finds it hard to abide by the rules and is forgiven a lot.
Of course, you want to hear your child, sympathize with him or her, and be a counselor for him or her. That said, you should not allow children to behave as they please. This is a good lesson, especially for teenagers. They should not think that their parents have to protect them from every kind of misfortune or negative emotion. The most that parents will do for them is to mitigate the effects of circumstances over which they have no control (such as conflicts or losses). Overprotection of children is a terrible mistake that parents only realize over time.
There are times when children just want to draw attention to themselves. In such cases, you should teach your child to do it properly. Even at a young age, you need to follow the rules, take responsibility, and fulfill certain responsibilities. Follow this principle and try to show your love and support to your child, because they are vital to them. You have no control over your surroundings, but you can control yourself and your relationship with your child. This is already enough.
Discipline your child
Children need to be disciplined. Many parents do not do this because of guilt or other reasons. For example, when a child does not do his/her homework, the parents remind him/her several times and then do it themselves. Or when a child fails to do their homework, cries, and says that the task is very difficult, parents, feeling remorseful, do the tasks for them. There is no need to rush to save your child from problems – let him find the solution himself, no matter how difficult the problem may seem. By solving all the problems for your child, you are letting him know that he is not capable of solving them on his own. Show your child that you believe in them.
No child or parent is perfect. You learn to be parents all your life. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Just don’t stop there.
Family psychologist Mike Leary in his many years of practice identified key mistakes in child-rearing, which are practically all parents:
Praise often.
Praise should certainly be given, but it doesn’t have to be given all the time. Such an approach will make your child dependent on the approval of their father or mother. If you want your child to grow up to be an independent and confident person, stop praising his every action.
Load with classes
Today’s parents want their children to grow up smart and educated. But to do this, you do not need to enroll him in six workshops at once. It is enough to identify your child’s abilities and try to develop them.
Make them happy
At first glance, it may seem that you do not. But statistics tell a different story. Don’t blame your child for not showing enough joy during a trip or not appreciating your birthday gift. Instead, learn to talk to your child about feelings and emotions, while being supportive.
Shame
Many parents often use a child’s shame to manipulate them. When a child is ashamed of something they have done, the father or mother does everything possible to exploit the situation to their advantage. Such parental behavior often leads to psychological trauma in children.
Don’t talk about important things
The job of a parent is not to intimidate a child, but to make things clear to him or her about many important and difficult things. Don’t put off talking about sex, alcohol, and other things which can affect a child’s life.
Indulge in everything
Catering to your child’s every whim is one of the biggest mistakes in parenting. Instead of doing this, try to understand the real reason for the moods. Perhaps your baby is just not enough attention.
Criticizing for every failure
Continually pointing out faults and failures to your child will feed their insecurity. The result is your child becomes a person who is afraid to make a step for fear of making a mistake.
Don’t limit their time on the computer
There are many ways to build a good relationship between your child and the gadgets. But you should never try to replace your child’s attention with a tablet or laptop.
No reading aloud
It can be a good family tradition to bond over. It is also good for the imagination and teaches your child to pay attention.
Encourage poor eating habits
If you think that food is irrelevant in parenting, it isn’t. You don’t have to constantly ask your child if he’s full or not, because the child’s body knows exactly how much food he needs. And of course, keep a close eye on what your children are eating, because junk food can hurt their health.
Use physical punishment
Psychologists reckon that it is no good to physically punish children. Moreover, such parental behavior may turn a child into an aggressive and antisocial personality.
Don’t ask how the day is going
When taking your child to bed, make sure you ask him/her how his/her day was. We are confident that your child will have plenty to tell. This parenting approach will allow the child to talk and you will gain his trust.
Be afraid of every bruise
It’s time to realize that scrapes, bruises, and abrasions are natural attributes of childhood. You shouldn’t feel too bad about it. After all, your anxiety could be passed on to your child, which could adversely affect his character.
Trying to give everything
Most parents try to give their children everything. They deal with conflicts at school, choose a course at university and give them advice about their personal life. However, this does not lead to anything good. The child ends up unprepared for adult life and gets used to having his or her problems solved by others. Allow your children to experience life for themselves. No one is stopping you from giving advice. For example, you can advise the best writing services to help with dealing with homework difficulties. It’s really perfect idea and that’s one problem less.
Don’t let them do anything
If a child doesn’t read or draw, it doesn’t mean they’re doing nothing. According to Mike Leary, children need to be able to entertain themselves. As soon as your child has a few hours to spare, he or she will come up with a game or other fun activity. That’s how creativity develops.